towith: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] towith at 02:13am on 16/06/2011
The study of anatomy can be described as the developmental understanding of living forms, namely the structures and functions of those forms. During my years of blissful study of one such form, namely that of the [livejournal.com profile] tydestra or to use the Latin homosapien mulierem pulchram, I have made many observations. During this post I hope to share a few such observations with you:

Hardened Exoskeleton

The hardened shell of the Ty supports and protects her delicate underbelly. It is usually the first attribute noted by enthusiastic amateur Ty spotters, as a Ty barrelling through the densely populated New York streets is a majestic sight to behold. Patient Ty spotters however will note that the shell is often discarded during times of ease and comfort, especially when with her mate.

Geekoception

Tys navigate by detecting disturbances in geekosphere surrounding the Earth, allowing the Ty to easily locate nearby colleges, libraries, museums, comic-book stores and porn-booths.

Enlarged Cortex

The uncommonly quick and alert mind of the Ty makes her a top-predator on the wild plains of academia. Many unsuspecting students and professors alike have fallen to her superior essay-drafting skills, severely skewing performance expectations in her wake.

Retractable Claws

When the claws of a Ty emerge they do not return to their sheaths until bloodied. Whether this means the side of a loved one is attacked or the Tys own nose during a careless itch, blood must be spilled.

Hostess Cream Filling

Enough said.

Buttocks

The buttocks of the Ty are complex. First they are used to attract her mate with rhythmic shows of her attractive plumage. Secondary uses are as defence/entertainment, namely in the production of various odours. Third and possibly the most intriguing feature, is in the newly discovered anus-academia-gland which allows the Ty to pull A-grade term papers out of her rear at will.

Heart

Most importantly, the pulsing core of the Ty which is quickly recognised and embraced by predatory Stees. These mammalian Stephens will, once encountering a wild Ty, attempt to woo and entwine themselves with the Ty. After seven years of knowing the Ty, the Stee will then wed his heart's desire. This ritual is performed on aquatic crafts during the longest day of the year, as to create an atmosphere of elemental synthesis. After the marriage, the Ty and Stee will spend the remaining days and years of their lives happily together, producing offspring with fanciful names.

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